ConleyWorld » Random

Lauren and the miracle league

Andy — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:09:40 +0000

Lauren has been playing for the Mets in the miracle league for several years with the same buddy, Morgan. They love each other

screw you, Bob

Andy — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 18:12:42 +0000

In a meeting where people are mocking my worldpress mad skilz.

Advice from The Bloggess

Andy — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:06:07 +0000

Ok, She’s pretty much the only blog that I consistently return to read. Sure, I like following Neil Gaiman on Twitter, but I only randomly read his blog. The Bloggess ranks not only in my Twitter “Famous Peeps” column in TweetDeck, but I hit her blog for every new post. Now She’s giving out advice. Perfect.

Undead Dog Dream

Andy — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 15:30:26 +0000

had a dream last night…

It was night. I was in a room in some third-world poverty level city. The room lacked carpet, was clean. It seemed more of an extended stay dwelling than an actual hotel. I looked out the curtain-less window and new the city. It sat on the shore of a landlocked sea. The building was one of the taller at 3 stories. The city wasn’t run down, just not wealthy. I knew the landscape wasn’t lush, but more craggy. Mountain ranges rose up on either side of the city and extended out along the sea… holding it in. The night was bright as few the few city lights in existence quickly gave up the fight to block out the stars.

As I watched, the waves began to churn and huge rolling walls of water rose and fell. In the bright light of the night, mounds of what looked like sea weed were gathered together and thrown against the rocky outcroppings of the shore. Within seconds an all too familiar reddish-orange light lit the peers and the first screams echoed into the night.

My heart didn’t beat… no breath on my lips as I witnessed flaming demons begin darting through the streets. Their “arms” would snap out igniting people attempting to flee in their wake. Some would float past old buildings, lazily running an arm along their walls as flames shut up. Within minutes, a wall of flame followed these creatures up and out from the sea.

A pounding on the door behind me snapped me out of my spell. I turned as the banged open and a small shape rushed in forcing the door closed behind it.

The shape spoke in quick, broken english… “MISTER! Y’ned ta leave now! Nod save f’ya here. We go now, ya!?”

This was my guide who I picked out of the crowd when I arrived. He had quickly become my companion as I explored the local area.

“What’s happening down there? What are those things?!?”

“…ykutizwy…” he whispered.

“What are… ykutzy?”

“Not ‘ykutzy’… ykutizwy… dog people… ancients who come back t’get r’vendge. We go now, ya?”

I stared blankly at him. ”This is insane.”

“Ya… In-sang… we go now, ya?!?”

An explosion off in the city. I ducked to the window seal and peered out at the destruction quickly approaching the building.

“What are the ykutizwy?”

“Dog people… ancient times… lived here first. Others came… killed all ykutizwy. King killed all dogs, too. Put ykutizwy in dog bodies and hung fr’trees. Long time g’by. Ykutizwy start falling fr’trees. Others start dying at night. Soon all dead. Trees dead. All things dead. Anything comes here died. Sea finally rose up and washed ykutizwy away. Long time later, we come. Build city. Live happy. But knew ykutizwy come back someday if not careful…”

I turned and looked back at him cowering with his back to the door in the dark.

“How could you know what happened if everything was washed to the sea?”

I sensed, more than saw, a shrug in the dark.

I sighed. ”What happened?”

“Someone not careful.”

Details in the room became more clear as the flames grew throughout the city. The electricity came on in the building flooding the room with crisp white light. We both blinked back in surprise.

“We take y’car an’ go now, ya?!?”

Looking out the window again, only this building had power. Fearing it would attract attention… “Yeah… let’s go!”

I threw my pack over my shoulder and rushed to the door as he cracked it open and peered out.

The phone rang.

I quickly picked up the receiver.

“Are you there?” a crackly voiced asked. I could just make out my sister-in-law’s voice from back home.

“Leisha?”

“It’s your grandpa… I tried to reach Gina, but she is at work. They called. He’s in the hospital. He’s on an IV. I’m not sure what exactly is wrong… what’s that noise?”

“ykutizwy… demons… the city is on fire…” I whispered in shock.

“What?!?”

I knew how I must have sounded.

“I mean… that’s what the authorities are saying to keep people inside. I think there is some type of political uprising. It’s mayhem. It’s not safe to talk. I have to go… I’ll call you or Gina when I can. Thank you for calling me about papa…” I put the phone down and we rushed down the stairs.

It was mayhem in the streets. People ran past, insanity in their eyes as they tried to flee for their lives.

We ignored the people and scrambled behind the building to the car. Just as we rounded the corner, an explosion knocked us off our feet. The car was gone… shards of metal laid scattered on the ground… embedded in the walls. A fiery demon stood in the wreck facing us. Flames rose 7… 8 ft into the air. Dark eyes stared down a long snout at me.

With a snort of flames, it moved towards me. I stumbled backwards into a barrel. It was one of the rain catchers on every corner. Fresh water wasn’t in abundance as the sea was more salt than water. Without thinking, I wedged between the wall and the barrel and pushed. As it tumbled, water splashed against the debris and all around the demon. Faster then reason allowed, the flames went out. A man stood before me with the carcass of a dog on his shoulders and it’s head over his brow. He let out a silent scream that shook the ground. He advanced again. With each step, the water steamed until the fur dried. Flames flickered over his body and quickly engulfed him…

My alarm went off and I woke up.

Ashton Kutcher speaks for homosexuals?

Andy — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 21:05:41 +0000

Ok, I really am asking for some clarification here. I’m not always politically correct, but always try to be respectful to people. I just don’t understand this statement made by Mr. Punk’d himself, Ashton Kutcher:

can we just get clear, calling some one “gay” or “fag” is as derogatory as calling someone a “nigger”. U look like an idiot when you do it.
http://twitter.com/aplusk/statuses/1311702726

I get “fag” being derogatory. But I’ve never known “gay” to be derogatory. As a kid, we used “gay” all the time to mean something what strange (Leia is Luke’s sister? That’s gay.). I think that’s fallen off from common sayings (like most things said in the 70′s and 80′s).

It wasn’t until later in life that I really understood homosexuality and the reference to “gay”. So, even if “gay” is derogatory now, I can’t imagine that it is on par with calling someone “nigger”. I don’t see how those are even in the same playground. Hell, there are groups that call themselves “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender“. LGBT organizations are all over the place. So I really question how “gay” is derogatory.

Honestly, I can’t see how “fag” is in the same category as “nigger”, either, but that is really why I’m asking. As is probably obvious to all concerned, I’m neither gay nor black. I’m not qualified to say one is derogatory. Neither is Ashton Kutcher.

Saw Watchmen. No spoilers

Andy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:00:03 +0000

I’m glad I saw it, but it almost felt more like a cliffsnotes on Watchmen than a movie out to entertain me. It was technically accurate, but didn’t really effect any emotional response from me. It was as if the director had a checklist of scenes, items, people he needed to show from the book to appease everyone. From that perspective, it was successful.

People are too critical of movies based on books/comics. They want them to be the book. They never will be. What you experience when you read a well written book is between you and the author. No filmmaker will ever capture that for you. Ultimately, the best adaptation into film that I saw is To Kill A Mockingbird. I’ve recent reread the book and viewed the film again and still stand by that.

They should have made the Watchmen their own. I understand why they didn’t… too many critics out there.

Movie Memories

Andy — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:49:57 +0000

Tonight, I’m going to go see Watchmen with a few guys. We’re going to have wings and beers and hit the flic on a big screen. I’m really looking forward to it.

Movies have always been part of my life. I believe the first movie I saw in the theater was probably Unidentified Flying Oddball by Disney. My mom took me to it when my Grandmother refused to let me go with my older brother to see some movie with monsters in it… Star Wars. I loved the George Burn’s God movies. When I was ten, I road my bike to the nearby strip mall and would watch matinees every Saturday. My favored seat at the time was front row right. I was there by myself and didn’t want to know people were staring at me. I fell in love with superheroes that summer when Superman came out.

We moved not long after and it was several years before I was back in a city with a theater I could attend regularly. For a while, I thought I would get into movie making going so far as to try to major in Film and English Lit. That really didn’t end up being the path I took, however. I did learn the best place to sit in a theater, though. But still I have the memories, like going to the movie Alive in the dead of winter in Fargo, ND with a group of people I worked with at an Italian buffet restaurant. You could feel the cold permeate through the walls and sense what they were going through in that plane. But when the bodies were lined up outside and they started eating, we all lost it and said “buffet style”. I saw Big drunk off of tequila while hitting on a couple of cute girls in front of me. It was probably my most confident moment with a woman. It lasted until the end of the movie when the world started spinning and I ran out and threw up in the parking lot.

Before we had kids, my wife and I saw probably 2 movies a week. After kids, we went through a pretty good dry spell. Now, we’re back up to about one per month. Movies are expensive, babysitters for 4 kids even more so.

Tonight’s a special treat. I’m looking forward to sinking into my seat, closing out the world and letting my mind be overcome with flashing lights, pounding sound and a story that will bring alive a 10 year old boy sitting in the front row to the right.

One step closer to Skynet, folks

Andy — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:04:36 +0000

Sure, you may think I’m nutz, but that’s what they said about Einstein, Edison, John Wayne, General Paton, Captain Kangaroo, Buck Rogers, John Crichton… and so many more.

As I’ve posted before, we are on the brink of a Robot-controlled world.

Here’s another brick in that wall. Borg-like cybots may patrol government networks

Yep, someone in the government thinks this is a good idea. If they name the damn thing Locutus, I’m outa here.

Wordle of President Obama’s Speech – Feb. 9, 2009

Andy — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:28:16 +0000

Created with Wordle using a transcript from NYT

How will these stimulate the economy?

Andy — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:09:19 +0000

People are getting irritated and saying President Obama needs to just quit trying to deal with the minority Republicans and just push through the stimulus bill. I like to remind these folks that 48% of the people did not vote for Obama. I only raise that to indicate that there is a need for the President to address the concerns of the entire nation. According to Gallop, only 52% support it and the vast majority have concerns that it will have any impact on the economy. http://www.gallup.com/poll/114097/Americans-Support-Stimulus-Major-Changes.aspx

I’m actually in favor of a stimulus bill. I don’t like the idea of bailing out failing companies, but if we can help retool, retrain, better educate the workforce and help them through that transition, I’m ok with that. What I’m not in favor of is politicians using this as an opportunity to slip in pet projects and paybacks. I’m assuming you aren’t going to read through the stimulus plan. I was only able to get through half of it before I started feeling ill. Check out the details here:http://readthestimulus.org

There are several programs for construction projects, health care assistance, etc. that I guess might help the economy. Below are items in the first 235 pages of the stimulus plan that I just didn’t understand why there were there? Don’t these other federal departments have budgets? Why are there stimulus $$$ to help the census, create nationwide wireless lawn enforcement network, have NASA build a climate monitoring satellite or any number of other things? I’m not questioning whether any of these line items are important. I want to know why they are in an emergency stimulus package?

[edit] Mitt Romney suggests in an article on CNN that moving up already planned Department spending is a valid way to stimulate the economy. I guess that’s possible if those Departments dropped their future budgets to compensate for moving the funds “up”, but I’m skeptical that would take place.

Right now, there is money for:

$1b ‘‘Periodic Censuses and Programs’’
$650m ‘‘Digital-to-Analog Converter Box Program’’
$200m ‘‘Tactical Law Enforcement Wireless Communications’’
$300m ‘‘Violence Against Women Prevention and Prosecution Program
$1.5b OFFICE OF JUSTICE PROGRAMS STATE AND LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT ASSISTANCE For an additional amount for ‘‘State and Local Law Enforcement Assistance’’
$100m ‘‘State and Local Law Enforcement Assistance’’, for competitive grants to provide assistance and equipment to local law enforcement along the Southern border and in High-Intensity Drug Trafficking Areas to combat criminal narcotics activity stemming from the Southern border, of which $10,000,000 shall be transferred to ‘‘Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, Salaries and Expenses’’ for the ATF Project Gunrunner.
$300m ‘‘State and Local Law Enforcement Assistance’’, for assistance to Indian tribes
$500m SCIENCE NATIONAL AERONAUTICS AND SPACE ADMINISTRATION SCIENCE For an additional amount for ‘‘Science’’
$250m AERONAUTICS For an additional amount for ‘‘Aeronautics’’
$500m EXPLORATION For an additional amount for ‘‘Exploration’’
$3.3b “Operation and Maintenance, Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, Army/Navy/Marine Corps/Air Force Reserves, Army/Air National Guard”
$1.4b advanced to the Colorado River Dam Fund; Reclamation Fund or the Bureau of Reclamation
$246m ‘Office of the Under Secretary for Management’’, solely for planning, design, and construction costs, including site security, information technology infrastructure, furniture, fixtures, and related costs to consolidate the Department of Homeland Security headquarters
$1.2b TRANSPORTATION SECURITY ADMINISTRATION AVIATION SECURITY For an additional amount for ‘‘Aviation Security’’, for procurement and installation of checked baggage explosives detection systems and checkpoint explosives detection equipment
$14m SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY RESEARCH, DEVELOPMENT, ACQUISITION, AND OPERATIONS For an additional amount for ‘‘Research, Development, Acquisition, and Operations’’, for cyber security research
$7.6m OFFICE OF INSPECTOR GENERAL SALARIES AND EXPENSES For an additional amount for ‘‘Office of Inspector General’’
$20m DEPARTMENT-WIDE PROGRAMS CENTRAL HAZARDOUS MATERIALS FUND For an additional amount for ‘‘Central Hazardous Materials Fund’
$800m ENVIROMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY HAZARDOUS SUBSTANCE SUPERFUND (INCLUDING TRANSFERS OF FUNDS) For an additional amount for ‘‘Hazardous Substance Superfund’’
$200m LEAKING UNDERGROUND STORAGE TANK TRUST FUND PROGRAM For an additional amount for ‘‘Leaking Underground Storage Tank Trust Fund Program’’, for cleanup activities
$300m shall be for Diesel Emission Reduction Act grants pursuant to title VII, subtitle G of the Energy Policy Act of 2005
$650m WILDLAND FIRE MANAGEMENT For an additional amount for ‘‘Wildland Fire Management’’, for hazardous fuels reduction and hazard mitigation activities in areas at high risk of catastrophic wildfire, of which $350,000,000 is available for work on State and private lands using all the authorities available to the Forest Service
$150m SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION FACILITIES CAPITAL For an additional amount for ‘‘Facilities Capital’’
$1.1b DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES HEALTH RESOURCES AND SERVICES ADMINISTRATION HEALTH RESOURCES AND SERVICES For an additional amount for ‘‘Health Resources and Services’’, of which $88,000,000 shall be for necessary expenses related to leasing and renovating a headquarters building for Public Health Service agencies and other components of the Department of Health and Human Services, including renovation and fit-out costs, and of which $1,000,000,000 shall be for grants for construction, renovation and equipment for health centers receiving operating grants under section 330 of the Public Health Service Act
$412m CENTERS FOR DISEASE CONTROL AND PREVENTION DISEASE CONTROL, RESEARCH, AND TRAINING For an additional amount for ‘‘Disease Control, Research, and Training’’ for acquisition of real property, equipment, construction, and renovation of facilities, including necessary repairs and improvements to leased laboratories
$500m BUILDINGS AND FACILITIES For an additional amount for ‘‘Buildings and Facilities’’, to fund high-priority repair, construction and improvement projects for National Institutes of Health facilities on the Bethesda, Maryland campus and other agency locations
$700m AGENCY FOR HEALTHCARE RESEARCH AND QUALITY HEALTHCARE RESEARCH AND QUALITY (INCLUDING TRANSFER OF FUNDS) For an additional amount for ‘‘Healthcare Research and Quality’’ to carry out titles III and IX of the Public Health Service Act, part A of title XI of the Social Security Act, and section 1013 of the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act of 2003, $700,000,000 for comparative clinical effectiveness research, which shall remain available through September 30, 2010: Provided, That of the amount appropriated in this paragraph, $400,000,000 shall be transferred to the Office of the Director of the National Institutes of Health (‘‘Office of the Director’’) to conduct or support comparative clinical effectiveness research under section 301 and title IV of the Public Health Service Act
$5b OFFICE OF THE SECRETARY OFFICE OF THE NATIONAL COORDINATOR FOR HEALTH INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY (INCLUDING TRANSFER OF FUNDS) For an additional amount for ‘‘Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology’’
$870m ‘‘Public Health and Social Services Emergency Fund’’ to prepare for and respond to an influenza pandemic, for activities including the development and purchase of vaccine, antivirals, necessary medical supplies, diagnostics, and other surveillance tools
$20m TITLE IX—LEGISLATIVE BRANCH GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABLIITY OFFICE SALARIES AND EXPENSES For an additional amount for ‘‘Salaries and Expenses’’ of the Government Accountability Office
$65m NATIONAL CEMETERY ADMINISTRATION For an additional amount for ‘‘National Cemetery Administration’’, of which $59,476,000 shall be for capital infrastructure and memorial and monument repairs; and $5,485,000 shall be for energy efficiency initiatives.
$60m RELATED AGENCY DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE—CIVIL CEMETERIAL EXPENSES, ARMY SALARY AND EXPENSES For an additional amount for ‘‘Cemeterial Expenses, Army’’
TITLE XI—STATE, FOREIGN OPERATIONS, AND RELATED PROGRAMS DEPARTMENT OF STATE ADMINISTRATION OF FOREIGN AFFAIRS DIPLOMATIC AND CONSULAR PROGRAMS For an additional amount for ‘‘Diplomatic and Consular Programs’’ for urgent domestic facilities requirements, $180,500,000, to remain available until September 30, 2010, of which up to $45,000,000 shall be available for passport and visa facilities and systems, and up to $75,000,000 shall be available for a consolidated security training facility in the United States
$524m CAPITAL INVESTMENT FUND For an additional amount for ‘‘Capital Investment Fund’’, of which up to $120,000,000 shall be available for the design and construction of a backup information management facility in the United States to support continuity of critical mission operations and programs, and up to $98,527,000 shall be available to carry out the Department of State’s responsibilities under the Comprehensive National Cybersecurity Initiative
$100m UNITED STATES AGENCY FOR INTERNATIONAL DEVELOPMENT FUNDS APPROPRIATED TO THE PRESIDENT CAPITAL INVESTMENT FUND For an additional amount for ‘‘Capital Investment Fund’’, of which $34,000,000 shall be available for information technology modernization programs and of which up to$35,000,000 shall be available for implementation of the Global Acquisition System
$200m FEDERAL AVIATION ADMINISTRATION SUPPLEMENTAL FUNDING FOR FACILITIES AND EQUIPMENT For an additional amount for necessary investments in Federal Aviation Administration infrastructure: Provided, That funding provided under this heading shall be used to make improvements to power systems, air route traffic control centers, air traffic control towers, terminal radar approach control facilities, and navigation and landing equipment